Not sure what your 2025 Christmas arrangements will look like now you have separated?
Many separated parents struggle with what is best for their family after a separation. It can also be daunting for kids to face their first Christmas after a separation.
The lead up to Christmas and the school holiday period is a busy time of year for both parents and family lawyers alike. While it can be tricky for parents to navigate, it is also important not to leave your post separation Christmas plans to the last minute. If you don’t yet have your arrangements sorted, this post is for you!
Separation doesn’t have to be a battlefield. For most families, if the parents can reach an agreement about what should happen in the holidays, (provided it is safe to do so) these arrangements are more likely to work for their family rather than arrangements imposed by a Court.
What holiday arrangements can you put in place?
Here are some examples of arrangements that might work for your family this coming holiday period:
Children with one parent, but spending time during the day with the other parent
Experts often recommend that very young children do not spend long periods of time (including overnight time) away from their primary carer. For very young children, or in cases of risk, staying primarily with one parent during the holidays, but spending a few hours with the other parent during the day, on a regular basis, might work best. As the children grow older, they will usually spend increasing time with the other parent, and this includes at Christmas.
Children with one parent for Christmas morning, and with the other for Christmas lunch
For families who live close to each other, are amicable and don’t have safety issues, sharing Christmas Day can work for the children. One parent might have the children for Christmas morning and the other one has the children from lunchtime. It has the benefit of the children spending time with both parents on Christmas.
To share Christmas Day, it is important that any handover of the children is respectful and friendly. The last thing the children want is to have a tense handover or witness an argument on Christmas Day.
Children with one parent for the week that Christmas falls, and with the other the week before or week after
If parents do not live close to each other, if they travel during the school holiday period, or if handovers tend to be tense, the children spending a week with one parent at Christmas and a week with the other at another time may be more suitable. One parent gets the week of Christmas, while the other has a week either the week prior or the week after. The advantage is that the children do not have to travel long distances on Christmas Day for handover or be part of a handover. In most cases, this would alternate each year so that the children get a chance to have Christmas Day with each parent.
One of my clients had a great idea for how to explain this to her children. She asked Santa to write a letter to her kids explaining how lucky they were to have two homes and two Christmases and saying that Santa has scheduled a special delivery of their presents on their second Christmas. It made the experience exciting and special, rather than focusing on missing out on seeing the other parent on Christmas Day.
Children spending the whole of the holidays with one parent
This arrangement, although less common, might be the most practical if the parents live a significant distance apart (such as one of them living overseas) or if there are issues of risk or family violence. For the parent not seeing the children in the holidays, they might have a video call or some other way to communicate with the children if it is safe to do so.
No special arrangement for Christmas
For some families, Christmas Day is not something they want to make special arrangements for, and instead continue their existing holiday arrangements (which might be half holidays with each parent, alternating weeks, or something else). This suits families who have non-Christian beliefs, are not particularly concerned with Christmas (or are happy to celebrate it on another day), and parents who do not want to have tense or multiple handovers during the holidays.
What arrangement is best?
The best holiday arrangement for your family is one that is best for your children. The above is just a small collection of arrangements that other parents have adopted and may not be appropriate for your situation, particularly if there is a history of risk or family violence.
Whatever you decide, don’t leave it to the last minute and don’t assume what is happening in the holidays. Make sure you get advice from an experienced family lawyer and talk to the other parent early, so that you are both on the same page and have an agreed plan for the holidays.
If you are unsure, contact us to make a time to talk to one of our family lawyers about your circumstances and ask us about our unique Child and Family Specialist service.
Sydney
Phone
Melbourne
Phone
Canberra
Phone
Coffs Harbour
Phone
Article By: Kasey Fox
Partner
Kasey began her family law career with FGD back in 2004 and was made a Partner in 2013. Originally from Alice Springs, Kasey has made chilly Canberra her home more than 20 years. When necessary, Kasey is a fierce litigator, and achieves outstanding results for clients. Her years of experience in litigation have given her unparalleled knowledge of the Court process and she is the office go-to for strategy and advocacy tips.